Sad update

I rec'd this from Tally this morning:

Update from hospice nurses' visit on Friday, 6/27/08

The news here is very sad.On Wednesday of this week, I had a moment with Jack that will forever be profoundly marked in my heart of "other" side of him, the one with wisdom and depth. In a moment of absolutely clarity, he asked me, "Am I melting?" Not "declining", not " slipping," but "melting." Yes, Sweetheart, you are.

Simply, hospice has advised me that Jack has about a week left of life on this earth. He is truly melting and the wick is short. I am in tears trying to grasp how fast this has gone. I thought I had more time to talk, laugh, and reminiscence. I feel robbed. And now panic. It's getting harder to control the pain as he is more resistant to taking the meds.

Last night, it took almost an hour before I could get him in a position to sit-up and take the meds. A hospital bed will be delivered this morning, which will make that task easier. Meanwhile, I detest med times, because it is filled with conflict, no matter how I try to do otherwise. He resist the morphine pills because they taste bitter. His nurse has ordered the liquid version, which will be easier. He is truly wrestling with the pain: not wanting the meds but wanting the comfort. I am wrestling with him to try to make him as comfortable as possible, which means I am trying to control the pain. An English-Scotsman vs. a German-Irishwoman.

Nothing has changed.If you wish to say your goodbyes, I ask for the following structure:1. His sons and their wives will always have 1st priority. (I know this is obvious.) So, if you're there by the bed, please wrap it up for the kids.2. Too many visitors at one time, talking at him, will tire him, which will aggravate the symptoms.

Hospice recommends "quiet" goodbyes. Just sit with him and whisper what you want to say. His spirit will hear you. It is my routine with him.3. Do what your heart needs in closing. Come by if you wish. I won't be having a calendar or schedule for visits. Having the phone ringing or facing a screen of emails seems overwhelming now.

To the here and now,

Tally

ron for Tally